An Interview with 68-year old Cover Model Valerie Ramsey on the Joys of Aging Gracefully
Valerie Ramsey, author of “Gracefully: Looking & Being Your Best At Any Age” shares her story of how she went from full-time motherhood in her thirties, to the boardroom in her 50s, to the lights and cameras life of a model in her 60s.
Commitment: What is your life philosophy that empowers you to be this dynamic, beautiful woman in her 60s?
Valerie Ramsey: I believe that we are here on this earth to live life to the fullest and to make the most of every moment of every day. I believe that we should continue to stretch ourselves and grow, enriching our lives and those of Gracefully – Looking & Being Your Best at Any Age: “There is a fountain of youth: it is your mind, your talents, the creativity you bring to your life and the lives of people you love. When you learn to tap this source, you will truly have defeated age.”
Commitment: As you began to get older, what were some of the challenges you faced? How did you meet and overcome these challenges?
Valerie: Well, there was the challenge of seeing if I could go out and have a real career for myself when I’d gotten such a late start at the age of 53! And I met that by first learning how to use a computer so that I could get a job and then by starting with an entry level position, working my way up.
There were some physical challenges with health issues that arose along the way. The first three days in my new PR role at Pebble Beach Resorts, when I had a production crew of 60 that I was responsible for, I broke my foot, sprained my ankle, got diagnosed with uterine cancer, and a heart condition called cardiomyopathy with ventricular tachycardia.
A complete hysterectomy took care of the cancer and a great cardiologist, combined with a modern day drug and an implanted defibrillator have taken care of the heart issues. I am now one hundred percent healthier than I was that first harrowing week! In the process I learned to take better care of myself, particularly with proper nutrition and exercise. Keeping up my stamina is a challenge I address regularly because although I have a lot of energy, it’s not as if I were in my 20’s any longer.
Commitment: After raising six children, you entered the corporate world at age 53, and then began a modeling career at age 63. Wow! What enabled you to try these new ventures at an age when some people feel there is nothing new left to do?
Valerie: My mother was an excellent role model. She had a fulfilling, glamorous career her entire life and was never afraid to try something new. During my 20’s, 30’s and 40’s I loved being home with my children. Having gone off to boarding school at the age of 7 while my mother traveled all over South America, I grew up with the dream of someday having my own large, loving family.
My husband, Wally, and I enjoyed every moment of raising our children, but all the while, I knew that once we had accomplished that goal, I wanted to move on to something new.
It was my own curiosity about what opportunities might be out there, and what it would be like to have a glamorous career in a beautiful place with interesting people, that drove me to creating the next chapter in my life – entering the corporate world in the field of public relations and hospitality at age 53.
Commitment: Did you ever think you would be a model? If so, did you ever imagine this would become part of your life in your 60s? Tell us about your journey to modeling, and what you enjoy most about being an older model.
Valerie: As for modeling – that was something I hadn’t even thought about since I was 17 or 18, but one day I was out doing a photo shoot for Pebble Beach Resorts when a Hollywood producer insisted on taking some photos.
He sent them off to one of the top agencies in San Francisco, and when – amazingly – they called and asked me to sign with them, my only thought was, “Why not?” I was excited about having an opportunity to try something new, particularly something I had never even imagined I might be doing in my 60’s. It was a challenge – there is so much more to it than meets the eye – but I love it. And what I love most is that it affords me yet one more way to be a role model for women of my generation.
Women seem to feel inspired by what I am doing and are motivated to try something new – no matter what it might be. One thing that never fails to amuse me is that my silver hair has now become my trademark! And I think it has inspired other women to let their hair go natural, too.
Commitment: Once your children were grown, how did you cope with having an "empty nest"?
Valerie: I coped with it by reaching out and discovering what my own “What’s Next?” would be! I enjoyed getting out in the world and knew I wanted to have a career of some sort. The empty nest also occurred just after we had moved out to the Monterey Peninsula on the west coast, and so I went over to the famed Pebble Beach Resorts and got my first job there working in the pro shop with all the college students one summer. It proved to be an excellent first step in learning about the hospitality industry since Pebble Beach is comprised of three hotels, four golf courses, The Spa and 17-Mile Drive.
Commitment: What advice do you have for women in their 50s, 60s and beyond who wish to have new adventures and hope some wonderful unexpected things happen in their life?
Valerie: I firmly believe that we are never too old to take on something new – to have a new adventure, master a new skill, or do something we have never done before. For so many years I was a stay-at-home mom raising our six children, and it wasn’t until I turned 53 that I made the decision to go out and find a career for myself. I knew the basics of what I wanted – I knew I wanted to work in a beautiful environment with interesting people, and that I wanted my job to involve many elements including some travel. I also knew that there were certain skills I would have to acquire before I could achieve this goal.
I started out by working in the pro shop at Pebble Beach Resorts, taking a summer job alongside all the college students, and while I did that, I also went to the local community college to learn how to use a computer.
From there I was able to move into an administrative position in the marketing dept. and on up the ladder until I became the public relations and media manager. Along the way, while overseeing a photo shoot on the golf course, I met a Hollywood producer who encouraged me to become a model, and since it sounded appealing and “right,” I listened to my instincts and went for it. The same thing happened when my daughter, Heather Hummel, suggested that we write a book together. It had never occurred to me that people might be interested in my story until that moment, but again, because it felt right, and because she was such a good writer and knew the ropes so well, we decided to do it.
So…. Listen to your instincts, do whatever it takes to get your foot in the door, and then continue to grow as you chase after your ultimate goal.
Commitment: What do you think it means to age gracefully? What advice do you have for women who haven't felt beautiful in a long time?
Valerie: To me aging gracefully means being the best you can be mentally, spiritually and physically.
It means loving yourself and taking care of yourself by exercising, following the guidelines for proper nutrition, and paying close attention to your health.
It means taking care of your skin and your hair, putting your best face forward when you go out into the world. I don’t believe in going to extremes but rather in making the most with what you have in a natural way. There are so many options available to us now to make our skin and hair look healthier, better. It’s a wonderful time for our generation to be able to make the most of what we’ve been given.
Aging gracefully means being curious, being more interested in others than you are in yourself, and always stretching and growing. It means not getting lazy and giving up on life.
Commitment: Were you always so confident? If not, how did you become this self-confident woman who presents herself with pride and self-respect?
Valerie: I laugh when I’m asked this question because the answer is No, I was not always this confident. I went through the normal doubts and insecurities that most teen agers do, and a certain amount of shyness continued to follow me into the first few decades of my adult life. It really wasn’t until I went to work in the corporate world and began to move up the ladder to executive assistant and then public relations and media manager that I gained real confidence.
Again, I would like to refer to a quote from the book. It’s by Eleanor Roosevelt. She says, “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You must do the thing which you think you cannot do.” I have done this over and over.
Commitment: How do you keep yourself looking so beautiful? What do you eat on a typical day? What type of exercise do you do?
Valerie: I try to include protein and complex carbohydrates with every meal. I think I’m blessed with having a good metabolism to begin with and also by not having a terribly large appetite. I don’t care for rich foods or a lot of sweets (although I love cookies and do indulge in those – but in moderation!) There is a special brand that Whole Foods carries that doesn’t have hydrogenated oils or high fructose corn syrup and tastes delicious that I especially love.
For breakfast I usually have ½ grapefruit, 2 scrambled eggs with a piece of Ezekiel cinnamon raisin toast, a cup of coffee and a small glass of low-fat milk.
Lunch might be a sliced turkey sandwich on toasted whole grain bread or low-fat yogurt with granola and dried cranberries. And dinner is frequently either something like grilled salmon and vegetables and a salad, or a home-made soup made with beans, tomatoes and ground beef or turkey.
I often get hungry around 4 in the afternoon and will whip up a whey protein shake which I blend with orange and cran-raspberry juices and a couple of packets of orange-flavored Emergen-C.
I am not an angel, however, and when I go out I pretty much have whatever I feel like, including a glass of wine and dessert. I don’t believe in sacrificing the pleasures of all the wonderful foods that are out there, but I do believe in moderation.
As for exercise – I do an upper body workout with weights that my daughter, Darcy, who is a personal trainer, worked out for me, and then I get on the treadmill with my iPod and favorite music to rev me up and keep me going. (Details are in the book). We live in a spectacularly beautiful area, and so whenever I can, I like to take advantage of it by going for long walks down at the beach.
Commitment: Was there ever a time in your life when you were tempted to just "let yourself go"? Tell us about it.
Valerie: Oh sure, there have been times when maybe I was over-tired from a trip or whatever had been going on and didn’t feel like doing one more thing …. including making the effort to take proper care of myself. But those times are always fleeting because the truth is that I found that you feel so much better when you do take care of yourself.
If, for example, I have a cold or the flu – I invariably feel better if I make the effort to wash my hair, put on a bit of make-up and get dressed rather than languishing around the house in pajamas or sweats. If you look like a slob, you’ll feel like one, too! Blunt – but true.
Commitment: Can you share with us your ten simple rules for a new metabolism?
Valerie: Yes – these come from Derek Johnson at New Metabolism in LA who has given me so much invaluable advice on fitness and nutrition. They are also outlined in Gracefully:
• Drink a glass of water first thing every morning.
• Eat slowly and sit down at every meal.
• Eat breakfast or a snack within forty-five minutes of waking.
• Try never to eat a carbohydrate by itself; add a fat or protein.
• Never go longer than four hours without eating.
Drink at least sixty-four ounces of water daily (small amounts at meals).
• Eat dinner by seven o’clock.
• Take at least one fifteen-minute break outside the office each day.
• Make sure to get eight hours of uninterrupted sleep.
• Choose natural carbohydrates – the ones that come from the ground – such as rice, yams, sweet potatoes, and beans.
Commitment: Do you have any special advice for women with thinning hair?
Valerie: Thinning hair is a problem for so many women that it’s a subject we deal with rather extensively in Gracefully.
Here are some of the highlights that are covered:
• Shorter cuts – above the shoulder – work best to camouflage thinning hair. Wavy or curly hair can be cut in layers, whereas straight hair can be given volume with glittering graduated layers around the face or a blunt cut. Be careful not to overdo it, however.
• If you color your hair, lighter shades that are closer to your skin tone work best.
• If your scalp shows and switching your part doesn’t help solve the problem, try cutting your hair short and wearing a “messy” style, or try a zigzag part.
There are many volumizing shampoos and conditioners on the market that will help to plump up fine hair, and some of them may also help the appearance of thinning hair. Products containing panthenol and herbs such as jasmine, angelica, and willow will keep your hair looking full and healthy. Progaine is a line of products that addresses the needs of women with fine and thinning hair.
Use low heat and less tension when blow-drying your hair. I like to use a thickening spray followed by a good styling cream – I run the styling cream through my hair, being careful not to use too much, and then flip my head upside down and blow dry it. When it’s dry I put in some large Velcro rollers, blow some warm air on them, and then let them cool while I put on my makeup.
Commitment: You write about being a positive thinker and putting a positive spin on different situations. What are some spontaneous positive actions someone reading this interview can start doing today?
Valerie: I think I have always been a pretty positive person although, as with all of us, there have been moments in my life when it’s been more of a challenge to maintain a sunny outlook than at others.
However, I learned early on that with every situation, we have a choice as to how we’re going to view something, and it is far better to look at something in a positive light rather than a negative one.
A “Can Do” attitude is the key to thinking positively
Act on instinct and don’t be afraid to take a risk
Listen to your intuition. If something feels right, it probably is right
Choose a positive thought over a negative or a fearful one
Have confidence, and the more you test yourself and move out of your comfort zone, the more confident you become.
Replace “I can’t” or “I don’t” with “I can” or “I should”
Take good care of yourself! If you eat a healthy diet and get plenty of sleep and exercise, you will feel better – about everything!
You can’t always control events, but you can control how you react to them.
Project a positive energy – even if you’re not particularly feeling it at the time. The more you do this, the more you actually become that person. In other words, “Fake it until you make it!”
Attitude is everything! Be positive!
Commitment: How can looking back at one's life help with today's emotions and goals? What do you do when you want to look back on your life, and review who you were and who you are becoming?
Valerie: Looking back on your life is a great way to move forward. You’ve learned from every experience you’ve had, and the lessons you’ve learned from those experiences will help to build the groundwork for when you’re faced with future decisions. Each decision you’ve made in the past paved the way toward your future. Reflecting on the chances you took and the life experiences you passed up helps you to see what molded you into the person you’ve become.
This is where journaling really becomes such an excellent tool in helping you to not only see where you’ve been, but also to see where you want to go. As we write in Gracefully, “Keeping a journal brings with it so many benefits, one of which is reflection. With each new experience, your mind stretches and never reverts back to its old shape. By reading former journal entries, you’re given a snapshot of your thoughts and actions taken during a particular period in your life.”
Rereading your journal will shed a light on dreams and goals you’ve had in the past, and will help you to formulate future goals and aspirations. There is something very clarifying about putting thoughts and experiences in writing. The very act in itself helps to solidify your thoughts and brings to them a helpful reality.
Commitment: Do you have any words of advice for those in the midst of raising children, as you once were, on how they can enjoy this time in their lives and prepare for a great future also?
Valerie: I remember something Jackie Kennedy once said because I thought she was exactly right. She said that if we don’t do a good job raising our children, nothing else we do matters. Those years race by so quickly that I always encourage moms to relish every moment and to do the very best they can because there is nothing more important and the rewards are endless.
However, being immersed in raising your children doesn’t mean that you can’t also be thinking about and preparing for what you would like to do next in your life.
I have always been interested in interior design, and when my children were young, I went to a nearby college and took courses in it. Later when they were in school, I got a job working part-time for an interior designer and had a wonderful time interacting with clients and shopping for beautiful things in New York.
Of course nowadays things have changed so much, and many women don’t have the option or the luxury to stay at home with their children. They are faced with the difficult challenge of maintaining a career and their homes and families simultaneously. I admire and respect their energy and tenacity so much, because I know it can’t be easy and the workload is enormous.
I think it’s a healthy thing to study, to continue to grow in some way that’s meaningful to you, no matter what else is going on in your life. We all need a little mental break from our everyday lives, and it’s important to enrich our spirits along the way. As you are going about your daily tasks, don’t be afraid to let your imagination wander to thoughts of what you to network and educate yourself as you prepare for that future goal.
To buy Gracefully: Looking & Being Your Best At Any Age click here.
About The Authors: Valerie Ramsey is a highly sought after model who has graced runways, print ads, and television, modeling for Lexus and St. John’s Knits and appearing on “Today” and “Extra”, among other shows. She is the media and public relations manager for Pebble Beach Resorts, the mother of six, and the grandmother of seven. Valerie resides with her husband, Wally, in California.
Heather Hummel, Valerie’s daughter, is a writer whose work has appeared in “Blue Ridge Anthology” (along with David Baldacci and Rita Dove) and “Messages of Hope and Healing.” Heather is a graduate of the University of Virginia and is an active member of the International Women’s Writing Guild. She lives in Charlottesville, Virginia.
