Are You Lacking Things To Do With Your TV and Internet-Addicted Grandchildren?
Lena Tabori, author of "The Little Big Book for Grandmothers" shares her favorite projects, fairy tales, and recipes with Grandmothers who aren't sure how to keep their technology-oriented grandchildren entertained.
Commitment: Why did you write this book?
Lena Tabori: I had just done The Little Big Book for Moms for which I had very direct experience because of my two daughters (who are now well into their thirties). It was so phenomenally successful (we have sold 440,000 of them) that I started thinking about my own mother and what would have been marvelous for her to have if my daughters had babies while she was still alive. And, then I think about myself.
I am 65. Most of my friends have grandchildren. I don't yet although my oldest daughter is waiting to adopt a baby as I write. Grandmothers is, in one book, dozens of books and that makes it simple -- there are recipes and poems and activities and stories and fairy tales -- great for a car trip or a trip to the kitchen or a snuggle in bed.
Commitment: What activities are in your book that will help grandmothers bond and spend quality time with their grandchildren?
Lena: I think the stories and the recipes are my favorite parts. I loved to be read to as a child. It created such incredible safety to be cuddled in a world of make believe. And, cooking together, making things that you love to eat and that you are allowed to be apart of creating.
I had published a wonderful chef, Christopher Idone, years ago and he used to talk to me about being in the kitchen with his grandmother -- far and away at the top of his favorite memories.
In this book you can go shopping together (or even pick blueberries together if you are lucky enough to live close to a blueberry patch) and then come home and make muffins. You can have a tea party and make the scones. You can really indulge and make the chocolate fudge.
Commitment: If a grandmother came to you and said, "my grandchildren like to play video games, surf the Internet and watch movies. I don't think they want to do old-fashioned activities I did as a kid" what advice would you give her? How can a grandmother introduce her modern grandchildren to the games, songs and stories she experienced as a child?
Lena: Well, I think she has to start early and night time is the best time because there has never been a child in this world that doesn't love a great story particularly before sleep which is when we leave the "real" world and enter the "dream" world.
And, back to cooking. There has never been a kid who didn't want to bring chocolate chip cookies to his friend that he/she made (even if it was with their grandmother). I would never force a kid into anything but I would make it irresistible. Harry Potter found a lot of older kids, too, and huge numbers of kids wanted to be read to (who hadn't necessarily wanted to before) because every sequel was big, fat and dense.
Commitment: Do you think reading is an activity that traditionally brings the generations together? How do nursery rhymes, stories and poems help grandmothers bond with their grandchildren?
Lena: I think when children are little they love repetition and they love remembering and repeating so they learn stories and poems and songs just be hearing them over and over and then jumping ahead and saying what is coming before grandma gets there. It is a way to learn but also a way to bond as grandmother gently helps and supports that process.
I also think grandmother’s sheer love of reading, her positive attitude towards it makes it good for the grandchild — even if their friends are finding distraction elsewhere.
Commitment: What are some of your favorite grandmother sayings in the book?
Lena: Beauty is Only Skin Deep. (this feels very important when there is such social emphasis on the surface of things — it is valuable for children to feel that who they are, the kindness they exhibit and the problem solving parts of themselves they evolve are what will matter when they build their own family. Come from love and tell the truth and act with integrity. That is what matters.
You Can't Please Everyone All the Time. Sometimes I think you must truly learn to please yourself and I don’t say this in a selfish way but I believe if you do the right thing and you feel good within yourself, someone else may disagree, but you will know it was right.
The Best Things in Life Are Free. Well, this is so true it is a truism because the laughter and the love you have together cost nothing. The sunset cost nothing, the moon and the stars, the joy of your dog when you come home, the resting together and telling stories about when your grandchildren were little — those are all free moments.
And The Little Big for Grandmothers is almost free — when you think about how much is inside (Oh, that is so commercial!, I apologize)
Commitment: What lessons can these sayings teach children of today?
Lena: I hope the same thing children always learned — that if you have love and kindness and truthfulness and integrity n your life, no matter what gets taken away, you will be full.
Commitment: Do you think it is sometimes difficult for grandmothers to find things to do with their grandchildren? If so, what ideas can you offer to grandmothers who may not feel that energetic or can't seem to connect to their grandchildren?
Lena: If you don't have the energy, read. If you don't want to move, read. If you aren't well, read because books have magic and children can see that even if their grownups can't do active things with them, they can share fantasies with them, And, then there are fnger games for the little ones.
Commitment: What are your favorite Fairy Tales in this book? Is there one Fairy Tale that you feel every grandmother should read to their grandchildren?
Lena: Well, I have many favorites but The Little Mermaid is a lovely one and mainly because there is so much generousity in it and so much sacrifice, so much selflessness. And, it contains grandmother wisdom!
Commitment: There are 15 songs in the book, such as "Polly Wolly Doodle" and "Little Red Caboose" what benefits come from a grandmother singing with her grandchildren? Do you feel singing is a part of the bonding process between grandmothers and grandchildren?
Lena: Singing is brilliant for everyone because it involves the whole body, because I have never seen a person singing who was also unhappy even if they were singing at a mass. Singing transports you and it does not matter if you sing well or badly.
Commitment: You include in the book 30 activities, such as embroidery and doing a puppet show, that grandmothers can do with their grandchildren. What are some of your favorite activities? Can you share one of the projects from the book with us.
Lena: OK. This one is great for boys and girls, one child or many. Take photographs of your grandchildren, their pets, their parents, The beds, their toys. You can take 10 or twenty or thirty. Make 2 sets of prints the same size, then shuffle the deck and put the photographs, face down, on a table or floor. Now each child has the opportunity to find a matched pair. When he gets one, he gets another turn. If he doesn’t it goes to the next player. The person with the greatest number of pairs is the winner. The more photographs, the more complicated it gets so for older kids, you can add pictures.
Commitment: What are ten things grandmothers can do with their grandchildren that will bring them closer and create unforgettable memories?
Lena: Page 20
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Oh, dear, I am way past ten....
Commitment: What should grandmothers remember about their role in the life of their grandchildren when they consider how to spend their time together?
Lena: They should laugh a lot, dance a little, do things together, and be wonderful examples.
About the Authors: Lena Tabori is the publisher of Welcome Books. In her long and storied career in illustrated book publishing she has conceived and edited numerous title, including Love: A Celebration in Art and Literature, and various titles in The Little Big Book series, including The Little Big Book for Moms.
Alice Wong is the project director at Welcome Books. She has produced or edited numerous titles, including The Little Big Book for Moms and The Little Big Book for Grandmothers. She has three daughters, and lives in New York City.
To order The Little Big Book of Grandmothers click here.
