A Single Girl's Guide to Understanding the Sexes!
In her hilarious new book, She's Crazy, He's a Liar - Now What?: A Single Girl's Guide to Understanding the Sexes, comedian Cecily Knobler relays her own dating experiences and explains why both men and women are a little bit crazy!
CommitmentNow.com: In She’s Crazy, He’s A Liar- Now What?: A Single Girl's Guide to Understanding the Sexes, you examine your our dating woes, and there of your friends. What were some of you strangest dating experiences?
Cecily Knobler: Oh wow, there are so many that it's tough to choose. One guy, who I'd met on-line, seemed really into me after our first date, which I too thought was pretty perfect. He asked me out for a second date and then stood me up, without ever calling. However two weeks later, I appeared on a mass email list to go see his band play at some open mic in Hollywood. When I called him out and said "Hey buddy, you kind of forgot to show up for our date a couple weeks ago and now you want me to see your band?" He replied, "Yeah, sorry about that. But because you're Jewish, I have a Jewish friend who I think you'd be better suited for!" So…I…took his friend's number and we ended up going out a few times! He was very sweet, but just not "the one." Oh and P.S., I never went to see the first guy's band play, despite getting countless emails.
CommitmentNow.com: So why do men think all women are crazy and women think all men are liars?
Cecily: I actually think that all people (both men and women) are a little crazy and yes, most of us have all lied just a little. But the reason men might think we're crazy is because of the expectations we often put on relationships. For example, most women aren't cool with their boyfriends/husbands flirting or sleeping with their best friends or sisters. And because we perceive many guys in our lives to be less than truthful, we assume they're behaving badly (i.e. sleeping with someone they shouldn't) when we sense that they're lying. However, men lie to avoid the drama that comes with us thinking they're doing something awful. Basically, men lie to avoid making women crazy…and women get crazy because men lie. It's a vicious cycle!
CommitmentNow.com: How can a woman “fix her chooser”?
Cecily: Okay, look. You're talking to someone who was so in love with Simon LeBon from Duran Duran, she would only consider dating lead singers from Birmingham, England. (By the way, those guys are tough to find in Waco, Texas.) Once women (and men) recognize that their pattern of choosing isn't yielding the best results, they can hopefully examine just what is causing them to choose those types of people. For example, women who just love the "bad boys" are either trying to psychologically "fix" a bad boy from their past (a father, a first love, etc.) or trying to live vicariously through them. When we look for partners who remind us of unhealthy relationships, we're destined to repeat them. Ask yourself, who in your life modeled a healthy relationship and then try…no matter how much you like those bad boys…to find a mate who makes you feel like that healthy person once did.
CommitmentNow.com: Your book is funny! How important is maintaining one’s sense of humor while involved in the dating scene?
Cecily: Relationships are downright hilarious, (especially if you date stand-up comics which I did for most of the 90s.) Sure, the dating world can be trying and relationships certainly have their ups and downs, but as long as you have your friends there to help you laugh your way through, the bad times might not seem so tragic and the good times will seem even better.
CommitmentNow.com: What are some of the best places to meet men?
Cecily: Meeting guys is fair game everywhere except the following places: family reunions, Sex-Addicts Anonymous meetings, prison and the husband of a wedding you're attending.
CommitmentNow.com: What do you think of being “friends with benefits”?
Cecily: I think it works just fine if you hook up once or twice. But as someone who tried to make a "friends with benefits" situation work for over a year, I can tell you GET OUT BEFORE YOU GET HURT. No matter how much we try to tell ourselves that we can "handle it" or "we don't need more", eventually someone's feelings will change and most likely, you'll lose the friendship part too. If a guy wants to be your boyfriend, he'll be your boyfriend. And if he doesn't, you're not gonna change his mind, no matter how sexy your leopard skin thong is. (Note: I think thongs are gross and I prefer granny panties. Come to think of it, maybe that's why my "friends with benefits guy" never wanted to really date me. Ahem.)
CommitmentNow.com: What are some of the most important things a woman should know before she starts dating?
Cecily: My cardinal rule is this: be the person you obsess over. This isn't to say you should be self-centered. It just means instead of putting men on pedestals, focus more on what you bring to the table. When I was a kid in the 80s, I read this basic idea in a Tiger Beat magazine. Basically the article (and yes Tiger Beat had articles) said that instead of spending every waking hour obsessing over some hair band (or ahem, English New Wave band), learn to play the guitar/weird-shoulder-accordion-thingy yourself! Then you'll attract the kind of guys you want to be with, but you'll still be on equal footing.
CommitmentNow.com: You are a comedian who writes and hosts entertainment reports and films reviews for “Live From Hollywood.” You’ve been a US Weekly Fashion Police Contributor and have appeared on VH1and A&E. What lead you to write She’s Crazy, He’s A Liar?
Cecily: I have been broken up with so many times, I decided I was gonna just "own my crazy" and write about it. If I was going to be the "psycho ex-girlfriend", I might as well be the "psycho ex-girlfriend" with a book!
Cecily Knobler is the author of new hilarious relationship/dating book, "She's Crazy, He's a Liar" that explores the dating highs and lows of entire relationships. This is a witty quick read that features personal stories and helpful dating tips in the hopes of guiding both sexes into understanding what the other is really thinking. Knobler is also a seasoned comedian who writes and hosts entertainment reports and film reviews for "Live From Hollywood," a daily morning show featured on 20 FM stations.
Visit her at http://www.shescrazyhesaliar.com/ and http://www.facebook.com/people/Cecily-Knobler/597997427
Click here to purchase She's Crazy, He's a Liar - Now What?